Im still getting asked if Im ok with Mandy and Nikki dating. Haha. The funny part.. Mandy is the one asking .. What does she want me to say? Oh Im sorry.. Im madly in love with your girlfriend.. And Dont have the strenght to fight. Dont have the emotional balance at the moment to do that plus she doesnt want me like that.. Is that what you wanna hear..?? Cause seriously thats What I feel like saying now. Mandy your right.. When I say I dont care taht you two are dating. I care alot. But the smile on Nikkis face is worth that. Is worth the pain. Because that girl is Happy. I do everything I can to Put a smile on her face. Haha. Its hard ok. Its hard because I would do anything for that girl. Like I dont think understand this.. At all. Im impuslive. I do things off my insticts.. and I love do things that way. But I cant anymore. I cant. And Dont tell me, seriously stop telling me that were fighting over her.. i would never put her through that. I cant put her through that. And the fact that you think that you know her, that you think you would take a bullet for her.. Bugs the fucking hell out of me. You wouldnt take a bullet for her. You wouldnt because.. and not because you dont love her enough. I believe that much, But because you would first be afraid of the on coming bullet and second would have to stop and think for two many seconds. Im not saying i wouldnt be afraid.. Im not saying I wouldnt think either. But I know.. If it was between my life, or hers.. Its hers that comes first. Nikki that deserve to live. And You dont know her. You know somethings. The things she tells you, the things I tell you. But do you know her favortie thing to wear.. or which action goes with which emotion, how when she says shes fine.. that you cant believe her till her tone matchs. Did you know that she hates alot of her past. That some of it had good memories and some bad.. Do you know what happened on the day of eighth grade graduation, or in sixth grade. Do you know how she felt when her parents split.. Stop saying you know her, because it bugs me. Because you act like you know everything about her. Im not saying I know everything about her. I know I dont know everything about her, i dont think thats possible. But the fact that you act like you do bugs me. The fact that you act like all your promblems are more important than mine. Bugs me. If I ask you to ask Nikki to call me.. I usally have a reason, and If I dont want to tell you and you keep pushing it.. then I will lie to you. If your gonna bug me over everything than You know what I will Lie. If your gonna keep asking me questions... that I have no desire at all to anwser.. Then Im not gonna tell you. Im done playing games. Im done acting like I dont care. If you ask me one more time if im fucking ok. IM gonna go off. NO DOUBT!! I will go off.
Peace out
abby

Quote of the day: smile-nikki
Song of the day: 1234 by plain white ts